Faith, Uncategorized

Touching the Heart of God

This is a little bit longer than most of my stories, but if you will bear with me and read til the end, I believe there is something God wants you to know today.


I was reading this passage from the Bible this morning. This takes place during the time of Christ’s ministry here on earth. News of the miracles which had taken place had spread throughout the land, as people spoke of this man called Jesus, who did marvelous, unexplainable things and who spoke with such wisdom.


Often, very large crowds followed Him wherever he went. Some seeking a healing for sickness, some desiring to hear what He had to say, and some who were simply curious about Him.


Mark 5:21-43 (NIV)

When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake.  Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet.  He pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.”  So Jesus went with him.
A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.  She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.  When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,  because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”
 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?”
 Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
 He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James.  When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly.  He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.”  But they laughed at him.
After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was.  He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”).  Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished.  He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this, and told them to give her something to eat.”



Once again, there was a very large crowd pressing in around Him, following him that day. To put it into perspective, when the bible speaks of a large crowd, it may mean 50 people, or it could easily have meant hundreds or even thousands. Remember when he fed 5,000 people with just a few loaves and fishes? Or the time when Jesus got into a boat and anchored just a short distance from the shore and taught the people from there, because the crowd was so large.


So as you read the story, you can imagine why the woman had difficulty reaching Jesus.


Several years ago, we attended an outdoor production of ‘Jesus of Nazareth’, or ‘The Passion Play’ as it is sometimes called. During the portrayal of this particular scene in scripture, as Jesus walked toward Jairus’ house and the crowd pressed into Him, the entire scene suddenly turned dead silent. All the characters stood frozen in a suspended pause, and the spotlight shown down on one single personthe lone, solitary woman, pushing her way through the people, using all her strength and power, desperately reaching her arms as long as they would go, never letting up until finally, she was able to reach through with one hand and just grasp the end of Jesus’ robe. It was quite a dramatic scene. Had it not been slowed down and highlighted, the entire moment would have been completely obscured. So anytime I hear this story, that scene replays in my mind.


This woman probably never thought she would actually be able to get Jesus’ attention that day because of the crowd of people. I assume that because she was an older, chronically sick woman, that she was perceived as unimportant in society, perhaps even invisible or outcast, her status in life meager. I doubt anyone even realized she was there. But in her mind, it was enough that she just touch Jesus’ clothes and she knew she would be healed.



But Jesus did notice her, and He turned and looked for her. Little did she know that her one, small moment would be of such significance that it would be recorded in the Word of God, for future generations to learn of the magnificent faith of this one poor woman.


The most obvious focal point of this passage of scripture is this dear woman’s faith… so quiet, yet so monumental that Jesus actually felt the healing power leave His body! There’s so much more to learn from that alone, but today, there is something else I want to share.


It’s like us sometimes. We see the wide world all around us, we see all the striving, we see all the needs around the world and around our communities, we see people hurting and suffering. We think, surely, my needs are insignificant in comparison…certainly, my status in life is less valuable when I look around at our fast-moving world of high achievers. How can God possibly see me, when there are so many pressing into Him?



But I think that when you speak to Him, or you praise Him, or you weep, that everything else in the world suddenly becomes dead silent… the noise and turmoil and chaos comes to a halt and all goes quiet….


And in that moment, just as Jesus stopped what He was doing and looked for her, so does He look for you. And God’s spotlight shines upon just you… His focus becomes centered on you alone… you have His attention and He bends toward you and sees you… and hears you… and loves on you. And just as He felt the power leave His body when the woman touched His clothes, so does He feels the power of His Spirit being siphoned from Himself to you, because you are not just touching His robe, you are touching His heart, as you are restored, comforted, strengthened, and filled with joy.


You are His most important child, and I am His most important child, as is each and every one of His children. Yet that does not lessen our individual value in His eyes, not even in the smallest degree.


Keep pressing in through everything around you, keep reaching out to touch the heart of God. He sees you, He is listening, and He loves you.






Faith, Home Life, Uncategorized

Don’t Forget to Look Up



It’s hard to believe we’ve been in our house just about three and a half years. I guess when a house really feels like home and you allow yourself to finally put down deep roots, it feels like you’ve been planted there longer.


We have completed several renovation projects on our small home, one of which was a complete kitchen remodel. I like to add my own unique touches and features that make my home feel welcome and warm for my family and guests.


The kitchen ceiling is one of those, with a recessed section in the middle of it, and a hand-painted medallion which shows off the beautiful light fixture. It’s a lovely feature.


But you know what? I seldom enjoy it anymore because when I’m in the kitchen, I never look up! I’m just so focused on my task or walking through to wherever I’m going, and I don’t think to look up. My gaze is fixed on my eye-level view.


So when my granddaughter said the other day, “Grandma, that’s a really pretty light”, I looked up and said “Yes, it is!”. And the Lord placed this thought in my heart.


“Don’t forget to look up!”


It’s so easy to forget to do that! Life gets busy, there are so many world events that overwhelm our sense of security, not to mention our own personal life crises. Discouragement causes our gaze to drop and we barely find the strength to just get through today. It skews our perspective.


Knowing we would face those times, God gave us reminders in His Word to lift up our eyes!



I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”  Psalm 121


Jesus lived this himself as an example for us to follow, when his dear friend Lazarus died and upon arrival at the scene, He gave thanks to His Father in heaven for hearing Him and for the miracle He knew was about to take place.


“Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.”  John 11:41


Oh, my prayer is that while I am busy with this life, that my eyes will remain fixed on Him! That I will never forget to look up!


(Photo- Robin Abrams, A Song In My Heart)

Faith, Uncategorized

Where’s My Missing Peace?

I enjoy a nice jigsaw puzzle. Trying to save a little money, I will sometimes buy a previously used one at a thrift store. It’s a risk I know!

But I choose one with a more sophisticated, artistic design, something that not just anyone would choose. I assume the type of person who would buy it and put it together, would also be the kind of person who would take better care to make sure all the pieces remained together.

Many times my selection process is successful and after I finally get the puzzle put together, it will be 100% complete.

But sometimes, that is not the case. Have you ever put a puzzle together only to find that one or two pieces are missing? Isn’t it an awful feeling?!

There is no finale, no sense of accomplishment, no victory to show for all the time it took to finish it. What a total and utter waste of time!

I find that jigsaw puzzles and people share some common ground.

A human being is really an amazing creation! Physically, psychologically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, we are so complex and intricately designed! Each piece of us has its place and its order. There is a place designed for every piece, just like that jigsaw puzzle.

Every piece has its own position and place of belonging. No matter how hard you try, no other pieces are ever going to fit in that spot. Even if you can get it in there, it will still be the wrong color or design and will not ever be a perfect, factory-made, die-cut fit.

I believe that within each and every person, there is reserved a place in which only our creator, God himself, can fit. There is nothing else that can fit in that space. We can place other things in there, and they may appear to fit. It may even seem to appear pleasing to the eye, but there cannot be that ultimate victory or feeling of completion.

Haven’t you ever just felt like something is missing, and you look around and search for that missing piece that holds within it that much-needed peace?  You just know it’s there, but you just haven’t found it yet.

We were created to have a relationship with the One who created us. It just makes sense that God, who used such care and thought in the designing of each individual cell of us, would leave a space within us, in which He can dwell, because He so much desires to walk every step of this life with us.

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Have you found your missing piece?


(Photo credit-Robin Abrams)



Faith, Uncategorized

An Unfinished Masterpiece 

I am God’s masterpiece.

Yes, in my present state, I am.

You see, He knows my sin. He knows my weaknesses and mistakes. He sees the areas of my life that I still need to overcome, where I need to choose His will over my own.

But when He looks at me, He sees my potential, the design for me which He placed within the very depths of my being when He thought of me and planned me.

If you were creating a magnificent piece of pottery, as an artist, you have already visualized what it will look like, the colors, the material you want to use, the size and shape, and even the purpose it will serve. Will it hold flowers? Will it be a beautiful bowl for use in the kitchen? Or will it be so unique and intriquing that it will serve as a show-stopping focal piece in the courtyard of a grand hotel?

Now imagine, you see a flaw beginning to form in it, what would you do? Would you mash the clay back into a ball and begin all over again? Would you accept anything less that absolute perfection? Here’s a better question…How can you tell the difference between something that is factory manufactured, ‘cookie-cutter’ style, and something that was literally hand-crafted?

It is by it’s uniqueness! Yes, even by it’s imperfections! Those little flaws and variations are evidence that this particular piece is hand-crafted, a one-of-a-kind work of art. There is not another one like it anywhere in the artist’s workshop. Therefore, it’s value increases. In fact, sometimes the flawed piece is more desirable, because of it’s uniqueness.

I know that God already knew that I would be imperfect. Believe me, I know where all my flaws are! Don’t get me wrong, He loves me too much to leave me in my sinful state, and wants me to continually seek Him and submit those imperfections to His will. It is an on-going process.

But He sees my potential. He sees my value and says to me, “Come on, follow me, I know you can do this!”

My favorite chapter in the Bible is Psalm 139, because it is so personal, speaking to me, this flaw-filled human being.

“For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. 
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be. 
How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.”   Psalm 139:13-18

He “knit me together in my mothers womb“, and “all the days ordained for me were written in His book, before one of them came to be“. He saw my potential then, and He sees it now. He is not willing to give up on me!


Just like parents, who fall in love with their children, even before seeing their image on the ultrasound screen, believing in the potential that little life holds, and before that child is born, already loving them with every ounce of their hearts.

There is only one you and God truly does love you so.


This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10


(Photo credit-




Faith, family

A Place In My Journey


Sometimes life’s path takes us to the most beautiful places. They leave memories of great joy! But the journey also takes us to some dark and lonely places. When we are passing through, it seems like it will never end. But the Lord tells us that He is with us and will never forsake us.

In 2002, my husband and I decided to have another child. We had every reason to believe that having our fourth child would be as easy and uneventful as it was when we had our other three children. I had no idea that one of the darkest times in my life was ahead of me.

When I became pregnant, it seemed to be progressing normally, as far as I could tell.

But at 9 weeks along, I had an ultrasound done at the doctor’s office and she could not detect a heartbeat. Though I believe the doctor already knew that the baby had died, she said she would check again in two weeks.

So at 11 weeks along, another ultrasound revealed that there was no change. The baby had died at about seven weeks gestation. A medical procedure was necessary, as my body had not rejected the miscarried fetus.  I felt like I handled the whole thing pretty well. I was certainly sad about losing the baby, but I was also very optimistic about trying again.

A few months later, I was pregnant again. I was excited and hopeful. But early into it, I began to miscarry. A trip to the doctor confirmed it.

I was devastated! How could this happen again? Was I too old? I was 38. So many questions crowded my mind. Questions about whether I had done something to cause this, and questions to God of why He had allowed it. 

I was sad and upset, very confused, in addition to going through the physical effects of hormone fluctuations and depression.

And then, I just got angry. Yes, it was an early miscarriage, but it mattered! That little person, however early in its existence it was, mattered.

I just couldn’t believe God would allow this to happen again. Didn’t He hear my prayers? Was He being cruel or was He even there? I felt so alone.

I was so angry at God, and I let Him know it, too. I couldn’t find my faith! I told my husband that he could do the praying because I just didn’t feel like I had enough faith to ask for myself. I really didn’t think God was listening to me at all. I was in such a dark place.

I think sometimes we are afraid to tell God how we feel, but He already knows and He wants us to cry out to Him!

I remember telling God, very angrily, about how people who go through difficult things always seem to say later on that they were glad it happened because of something good that came out of it. “Well”, I said, “I will NEVER think that. Nothing good can come from this.” I also remembered a saying I had once heard, “tragedy doesn’t build character, it reveals it“. Well, I saw a very bitter side of me being revealed, and as much as I didn’t like it, I felt it was not in my control to change it. 

When you are in the midst of that dark place, it’s really difficult to see the positive side or that there is a way out. You are trapped in it and in your own strength, it seems impossible to bear. I just wanted to isolate myself from people. I was dealing with this all alone.

However, I had been in contact with someone through email, she is a wonderful Christian woman with a lot of wisdom, and I was able to share with her all those things that were replaying over and over inside my mind. All of the ugly, angry words being used against me in this unspoken battle. She gave me good counsel, she had been there, she understood.    It helped so much just to give a voice to my thoughts.

But you see, time really does help to heal us. I know the Lord was there for me. Deep down in my heart, I knew that, even though my emotions at the time were telling me He wasn’t.

It wasn’t long before my healing came,  when I finally felt free of the darkness which had engulfed me. And the Lord was there.

Psalm 139:8-12 says “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, though art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me’; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.”


The Lord knows our pain. He knows that we get angry when we hurt and we don’t understand what He is doing in our lives. He says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

We all go through difficult times of life. But my Lord said He would be there with me, to strengthen me, to guide me, to teach me to lean on Him, and to bring glory to Him. You see, He had a plan for me & my family. He had a gift for me and it would soon be on its way!

My heart’s desire was for a baby girl. I had prayed many times that God would give us the child that He planned for us, but that if it were His will, I would love to have a baby girl.

In January 2003, I became pregnant again and I wanted to be excited, but was understandably reserved. We waited until about eight weeks into the pregnancy before going to the doctor.


An ultrasound revealed a tiny, beautifully formed little person, with a strong heart. On September 26, 2003, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. She was absolutely perfect. We named her Megan.

I didn’t want to go through that dark place in my life journey. But when I look at my daughter, I know that I would go through it again, knowing that she was the prize at the end.

The book of Esther in the Bible tells the story of a young woman who walked through a very difficult place, yet she did so, trusting that God would be with her. And He was! Because of her obedience and sacrifice, God used her life to accomplish a mighty thing!

“….. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther‬ ‭4:14‬ ‭NIV

Have you entered a dark place in your journey? Do not despair! God is there! This time will pass. And when you reach your destination, you will look back and see where the hand of God guided and directed your steps.

Just hold on and keep moving forward!


(Photo credit-Robin Abrams)